Summer TV programs – Give your brain a break already

For some reason, the sun always sets. Even in the summer. I know, I know… it’s a total drag. Fortunately, that’s where the gloriousness of television’s summer programming comes into play. If you’re like me, without DVR, that means usually catching your favorites in some form of Megavideo-like, illegal-watching capacity.

Most people believe that the crème de la crème of programming is saved for the fall. This is simply untrue. You see, it’s all of the mindless, frivolous shows that are aired during the summer. Shows that serve only one purpose – entertain people while they’re not sunning at the pool or drinking Boone’s Farm on a boat.

I am a fan of both mindless and frivolous.

So, here’s what I’m mega-psyched to indulge in during some boring, summer nights…

1. Wilfred

FX, June 23

This is the only new show on my list. In all honesty, I’m awful and keeping up with the shows I already unfaithfully follow. So, I don’t think that adding another show to my lazy, to-do list is a good idea. However, for this show, I’ll make an exception.

From what I gather, this the basic premise is that Frodo Baggins (you know, the kid from Flipper) is a severly fucked-up dude who makes friends with his neighbors dog, whom he sees as a drinking, smoking guy in a dog suit. I’m not sure what about this doesn’t seem fantastically hilarious.

I am pee-my-pants excited about this show. It is my most-anticipated of the summer by far. If I weren’t so opposed to exclamation marks, I would use them. Oh, what the hell. I’m fucking stoked! From the very few previews that actually give anything away, it seems that the tone and sense of humor is going to fit my personality perfectly. Still, I have this awful feeling that this could also be the show to really disappoint me.

2. Toddlers & Tiaras

TLC, June 15

If you’re into watching kids be exploited on stage and freaking psycho stage moms, this is the show for you. Every week is the same, and every week is incredibly satisfying.

Little girls being dressed up as adults in order for their parents to satisfy their own self-centered drive to be validated? Duh. I’m totally in.

Secretly, every time I watch this show, I feel like I was cheated. What was my mother thinking passing up on this opportunity to help me achieve my life’s purpose?

3. Big Brother

CBS, July 7

Reality TV at its absolute finest. Big Brother is pretty much a no-brainer. Each season is essentially identical to the last. Attractive housemates sitting around in bathing suits and competing in ridiculous, humor-infused competitions in order to avoid eating oatmeal and getting kicked out of the house.

Inevitably, season 13 of Big Brother will be the same as the previous 12… awesome. Fifteen people living together in a house and just going at it. Sneaky, backstabbing to ensue. Just like high school, only pretty much every contestent is smokin’ hot.

4. Ice Road Truckers

The History Channel, June 5

I guess I just love watching people drive stuff across ice, because that’s essentially all this show has to offer. Although, apparently there’s a lot more to it than that.

Just to clarify, no, I am not stoned when I watch this.

This one I’ll blame on my dad. I mean really, does it seem like something that I would, of my own free will, select from the variety of shows that I could be watching? No. But I find myself enthralled. It’s fascinating, people. If you turn on The History Channel for only one reason, let this be it.

5. True Blood

HBO, June 26

Let me start out by saying that I ship Eric and Sookie so hard, and if something doesn’t seriously happen between them this season (as in extreme vampire sex), I may me done with True Blood.

This is one show that I never meant to get into. If that were a totally honest statement, then I guess I never would have turned it on. Alas, curiosity got the best of me, and I could resist no longer. I was hooked pretty much immediately. First of all, Anna Paquin is freaking adorable. Then there’s blood, violence, sex and trashy Southerners with hilarious accents. I just can’t help myself.

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